Auquafina and the Meaning of "Pure"

Aquafina has been outed -- it is just city water in a plastic bottle. But we are assured it is pure. Or are we? I have just come downstairs from a Boston - Chicago baseball game where I have seen a TV ad that said its water was filtered, filtered again, purified, then filtered and filtered again and filtered and then purified and then filtered and maybe filtered again. The word "pure" means to me "free of all impurities -- period." And "purified" being a causative verb in this usage would have to mean (to me) "cause to come to be free of all impurities." But if Aquafina isn't lying through its teeth, it is being quite redundant. One purification should have been enough.

And what is their method of "purification?" The one I have in my house that Kinetico installed and services (now 3 times a year given my increased use of water making soda pop for my wife and me that I know the ingredients of), namely a reverse osmosis system and "other filtering methods."

Now wait a damn minute. If reverse osmosis is another filtering method, then they are doing no purifying at all. They are simply engaging in multiple filterings of their water. My water filtering company does not claim to give me pure water. It can't because there is no filtering method alive that will get rid of bacteria (correct me if this is wrong). Sadly, it is bacteria that can make water dangerously impure. Any filtering method that got out all the bacteria wouldn't be able to let water molecules through if my impoverished knowledge of biology and chemistry is correct.

Years ago, before most of you were born, I worked at an Air Force lab where I created deionized water. That was what we used in the lab. Fortunately we were doing inorganic chemistry because our friendly neighborly encyclopedia tells us that deionized water cannot rid water of some organic. Even distilled water is not guaranteed pure. But I am pretty sure that bourbon and scotch are pretty safe. You might drink that if you are desperate not to be poisoned by your liquid. It could be bad for your liver. And lead you to do stupid things.

Any time someone says they do something twice, they may not do that thing once. I'm in a hurry. I have to get back to my game.